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    Damian's Soul embodiment

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    Completed Damian's Soul embodiment

    Post by Guest on Fri 25 Dec 2015, 10:26 am

    Name of Magic;Soul Embodiment
    Type/Subtype of Magic;Lost magic caster
    Current Rank;D
    Description; This magic uses the users soul to move objects and use them for self defense. It is a magic used by fairies to defend against demons. After generation the magic was passed down to Damian for the use of protecting people around the globe from violence. Damian himself barely uses the magic because he hates to fight, but when in harm he strikes down the enemy with a controlled object of choice. This magic allows user to send a bit of his soul into an object.
    Information; Damians embodiment magic allows him to take control of objects. He cannot take control though of objects another mage uses. Damian cannot make an object talk or a human like thing. Damian can however make an object move and fly with him. Damian can make an object be enhanced or get stronger if he is powerful enough. Damian cannot take control of living things


    Name of Spell; Small embodiment
    Type;defense
    Rank; D
    Description; a bit of the soul goes into an object and takes control. (User still is active as he has a soul part) This object can twirl spin and strike, ect or whatever you fancy,  besides the rules above. the object can fly under the users will, and can do as he/she pleases.
    Information;

    • Can move anywhere with user


    • Can strike with D-rank power


    • Can embody three items while spell is active one at a time or all at once

    Weaknesses

    • Cannot move out of users sight


    • Cannot fight on its own


    • cannot touch lava

    Name of Spell;Soul upgrade elemental ensnare
    Type;upgrade
    Rank; D
    Description;object gains a ribbon around it of the color yellow, it can be used to have fire lightning or freezing effects in minor power
    Information;

    • makes object do 50% more damage with each hit


    • does a certain effect as listed below:

    effects:


      Fire-does 30% Drank damage for 2 posts


    • Lightning-stuns opponent and deals 10% drank for 2 turns


    • locks opponent in an icecube for 3 posts

    Weaknesses

    • Object has effective ways out of these effects

    effects:
    Fire- pour water on yourself or the victim
    lightning-block effect with rubber
    freezing-melt the cube
    Effects;

    Name of Spell; melt
    Type; defense
    Rank; D
    Description; This spell makes the object melt in the opponents hands
    Information;

    • The object doe D-rank damage to opponent


    • The opponents cannot attack the object


    • The opponents have melted material stuck to them

    weaknesses

    • the object is destroyed


    • the object had to be meltable


    • the object can never be possessed again

    Name of Spell;object spike
    Type; defense
    Rank; D
    Description; the object is surrounded by spikes and gains a purple ribbon
    Information;

    • Spikes do D-rank damage


    • Spikes stretch 3 feet


    • Spikes retract when user wants to hold object

    weaknesses

    • Spikes can be seen coming


    • Spikes are small and can be broken with C-rank damage


    • Spikes can be forgotten by user and well....

    Effects;
    Effects;
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    Kenshin
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    Completed Re: Damian's Soul embodiment

    Post by Kenshin on Fri 25 Dec 2015, 9:18 pm

    KitofKat Wrote wrote:Name of Magic;Soul Embodiment
    Type/Subtype of Magic;Lost magic <--------You need to mention that it's a caster Magic
    Current Rank;D
    Description; This magic uses the users soul to move objects and use them for self defense. It is a magic used by fairies to defend against demons. After generation the magic was passed down to Damian for the use of protecting people around the globe from violence. Damian himself barely uses the magic because he hates to fight, but when in harm he strikes down the enemy with a controlled object of choice
    Information; Damians embodiment magic allows him to take control of objects. He cannot take control though of objects another mage uses. Damian cannot make an object talk or a human like thing. Damian can however make an object move and fly with him. Damian can make an object be enhanced or get stronger if he is powerful enough. Damian cannot take control of living things <------- Okay then, I have some questions, you say that he manipulates them with his soul, how does he do that, does his soul leave his body to possess the objects, does he send portions of it out, please expand upon this in great detail
    Traits;

    •Soul distribution:This ability means you have to cut up both owner and object in order for the user to die <--------No, just no Kit, do you realize just what you've said, you just said that the user will not die unless both the object that they are controlling AND their body is destroyed, did you really think that this would've been allowed



    •Soul explosion:The object/object explodes when it is destroyed <--------Please expand upon this, why does the object explode, how much damage does the explosion do, are there any additional effects



    •Soul escape:Soul can escape at any time into something else <--------Once again no, just no, this is something that will not be allowed AT ALL, because you've just said that the users soul is able to escape from their body at any time, meaning that if used correctly anyone who uses this magic is basically immortal



    Name of Spell; Small embodiment
    Type;Utility <------Not a type of spell, please check Magic System Rules for details
    Rank; D
    Description; Soul goes into an object and takes control. This object can twirl spin and strike, ect or whatever you fancy,  besides the rules above. the object can fly under the users will, and can do as he/she pleases. <-------Okay, explain this better please, because you've basically just said that the users soul leaves their body, does that mean that their actual body falls lifeless to the ground or something, please explain further and in MUCH greater detail
    Information;

    •Can move anywhere with user <--------Please expand upon this, how far can it go from the user, are there any limits as to what it can do



    •Can strike with D-rank power <-------Not a strength, change it please



    •Can embody three items while spell is active one at a time or all at once <-------Please expand upon this, how does the users soul inhabit three different things at once, also if you want to control 3 objects at once then you'll either have to make it limit what he can do with each object OR make him use another D-ranks worth of magic power per object


    Weaknesses

    •Cannot move out of users sight <-------How does this work if the users soul is inhabiting the object, please explain



    •Cannot fight on its own <-------Once again, I thought the users soul was inhabiting it, please explain



    •cannot touch lava <--------Where did this weakness come from, why is it here, it makes absolutely no sense to have it here, please change it to something appropriate


    Name of Spell;Soul upgrade elemental ensnare <--------Oooookay, this spell makes absolutely no sense, please either completely redo it in a way that makes sense or scrap it altogether and make a new spell, and when you do so please add 3 strengths AND 3 weaknesses, this is not optional
    Type;upgrade <--------Not an actual type of spell
    Rank; D
    Description;object gains a ribbon around it of the color yellow, it can be used to have fire lightning or freezing effects in minor power
    Information; •makes object do 50% more damage with each hit <---------So each object does a D-rank and a half worth of damage? please reword and explain further

    •does a certain effect as listed below:

    effects:
    Fire-does 30% Drank damage for 2 posts <--------Why does it continue to do damage for 2 posts, and why only 30% damage, is that on top of a D-ranks worth of damage, because if so then that is not allowed, a D-rank spell can only do D-rank damage
    •Lightning-stuns opponent and deals 10% drank for 2 turns <-------What do you mean by stuns, does it immobilize them, and why does it continue to damage them for 2 posts, and why only 10% damage, is that on top of a D-ranks worth of damage, because if so then that is not allowed, a D-rank spell can only do D-rank damage

    •locks opponent in an icecube for 3 posts <--------You cannot have a spell that completely immobilizes an opponent for 3 whole posts at D-rank
    Weaknesses
    •Object has effective ways out of these effects <-------This is regarding the effects listed below, why can the lightning only be blocked by rubber, earth would work just as well as would any other substance in fact, what's to simply stop the victim from putting the fire out with dirt or rolling on the ground, why does it have to be water, and how can the cube be melted, by the sun, by fire, by lava, by lightning, I can keep going on but I'm not going to and what's to stop them from shattering the ice

    effects:
    Fire- pour water on yourself or the victim
    lightning-block effect with rubber
    freezing-melt the cube
    Effects;

    Name of Spell; melt
    Type; defense <--------This is not defensive in any way, shape or form, please change
    Rank; D
    Description; This spell makes the object melt in the opponents hands <--------Please expand upon this, why does the object melt, what does the user do
    Information;
    •The object doe D-rank damage to opponent <--------Once again this is not a strength

    •The opponents cannot attack the object <------Why not, what's stopping them from destroying it before it reaches them, another thing, why are they holding it in the first place, it makes no sense

    •The opponents have melted material stuck to them <--------Does the material do any form of damage to them, can it be removed in any way, please expand

    weaknesses

    •the object is destroyed

    •the object had to be meltable <-------How does the object melt in the first place, this magic is soul manipulation not heat manipulation or fire magic, how can he make the object melt

    •the object can never be possessed again

    Name of Spell; object spike
    Type; defense <-------Not defensive in any way, shape or form, please change
    Rank; D
    Description; the object is surrounded by spikes and gains a purple ribbon <--------Please expand upon this
    Information;
    •Spikes do D-rank damage <--------Not a strength, change

    •Spikes stretch 3 feet <-------It makes no mention of this in the description, nor does it make much sense, please elaborate

    •Spikes retract when user wants to hold object <---------Why do they retract, does the user will them to or is it automatic

    weaknesses

    •Spikes can be seen coming

    •Spikes are small and can be broken with C-rank damage <----------Why A C-rank's worth of damage when the spell itself is D-rank and you've mentioned that they are small, also what's to stop the opponent from simply destroying the object

    •Spikes can be forgotten by user and well.... <-------You've said that the spikes retract when the user wants to hold it, and I doubt that they would just forget, so please add a new and appropriate weakness

    Effects;
    Effects;

    Ummm, Kit I hate to break it to you but this magic is NOT complete in any way shape or form, you NEED to follow the template exactly, it is not optional, each spell needs 3 strengths AND 3 weaknesses, you can feel free to add more if you want but you need too have AT LEAST 3, you also need to add the effects of the spells, what is the range of the spell (See Magic System Rules), what is the duration of the spell (Once again see Magic System Rules), what is the cooldown (Do you really need me to say it again). Once all, and I mean all of these things have been fixed to an appropriate level I will regrade it, but dude, let me tell you this, you are skating on thin ice right now, this magic has huge potential for being abused and it is literally filled with inconsistencies and holes




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